The Blair Witch Project
Blair Witch Style

        If you don't know what The Blair Witch Project I'll tell ya but I know you saw that damn overview it ahs been on like every five minutes on every station across the country. 3 film students camp out in the forest for a weekend so they can shoot a documentary about the mythical Blair Witch. They get lost but 3 years later their tape was found.   

        I will now do a reenactment of the first 30 or so minutes of The Blair Witch Project in one paragraph. Read it quickly to get the full affect, it will feel kind of like a spinning camera and give u a major headache. Here we go:   

        Heather: I am so excited we're doing a documentary about an old myth in a scary forest and are about to run around and get freaked. Guy #1: Yeah I am so excited to, let me drink some liquor and smoke a lot of cigarettes while recording you, Heather, while you record me with your camcorder so we can give the audience another headache. Guy #2: I'm along for the ride. (They walk into the forest). Guys: You do know where we are and where we're going right Heather. Heather: Of course. Let's have a map check. Guy #1: You had the map. Heather: no you did. (Everyone gets mad and curses each other out while guy #2 continues to ask Heather to turn off the damn camera with another four letter curse word starting with an F). Guy #2: You got us lost (Loud yelling and cursing ensue.)   

        Now you've seen all of the movie but the ending. If you want me to tell you the ending email me. I'll save you between $5 and $9. The problem with it is that it is just nerve racking and hard to watch because it is amateurish. 

        Now maybe I need to see this film again because I really didn't get it. I sat in the front row and all I got from from this movie was motion sickness from constant movement of the camera. The two camera people Heather and Josh (guy #1) kept moving the camera around and shooting the same thing form different freaking angles. They stand straight in front of it. Then get the side view then the rear view and all it was was a pile of rocks. What a waste. Maybe someone should teach the how to hold the camera steady. I know all the background information about the movie. I know it only cost $50,000 and all that but it doesn't make up for it just being a bad movie.  

        It wasn't scary. It gave me a headache. Some of the camera angles were cool. The ending was kind of cool. Most of the content of the film is just repetitive though. When I was walking out I almost regurgitated my lunch. The actors were funny not scary. They were convincing but they had nothing to convince me of since I heard that they did not know what was going to happen to them. You have the right to your opinion but if you liked this movie your opinion is wrong. I know I am offending many people by saying this but this movie sucked. Don't believe the hype. Good idea, horrible execution.

Rating: 1.5 out of 4 Star/ C-/ 4 out of 10
Reviewed by: Joe "Buscemifan" Soria
Running Time: 87 minutes (of torture)
Rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, language and some drug-related material.

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