Red Planet

Add Red Planet to the recent list of over-bugdeted, useless, bad sci-fi flicks along with Wing Commander, Lost in Space, Supernova, and Mission to Mars. This one will be remembered as the action movie in which no action took place, there's not even a hint of action in the film.

A narrative from Capt. Bowman (Carrie Anne Moss) opens the film. She tells us Earth is on a path to be uninhabitable within a span of 100 years. A crew is sent to be the first to explore Mars. The crew has a few true astronauts (Terrance Stamp, Carrie Anne Moss, and Benjamin Bratt), a few scientists to accompany them (Tom Sizemore, Simon Baker), and Val Kilmer as a "space janitor".

So you have all these characters, now what? Nothing. Nothing happens. Strong actors like Tom Sizemore and Benjamin Bratt are in dually suppressed roles. Terrance Stamp is horribly underused. None of the actors seemed to be used. Usually these movies are vehicles for someone. This film is a vehicle for no one.

Val Kilmer puts in the only partially decent, worthwhile performance. Any movie where the best performance comes from Val Kilmer must be weak. Mr. Kilmer hasn't had a good performance since he was Jim Morrison in The Doors almost a decade ago. Moss is awful, her role is a new level of predictability. Her narration more of a pester than a help.

I can't remember anything happening in this movie except a few brief fight sequences between the crew, their robot AMY, and some weird looking bugs. All the conversation was dull. The movie doesn't flow. It just cuts from scene to scene while nada occurs in front of your eyes. You don't care at all about the characters. You'd hope they'd all die and the movie would end. I really don't remember Mission to Mars that well but it had to be better than this. I didn't think I'd ever say that there were two movies with the same sort of plot that would be worst than Armageddon and Deep Impact, but Mission to Mars and Red Planet are worse. I remember Armageddon and Deep Impact. These two movies truly are the pits.

A movie full of untimely mishaps and explosions, useless patter, and boredom to go along with a big budget and a very Star Trek-looking space atmosphere. A completely uninteresting movie.

Rating: 1 out of 4 Stars
Reviewed by: Joe Soria
Running Time: 106 minutes
Rated PG-13 for sci-fi violence, brief nudity and language.
Starring: Val Kilmer, Carrie Anne Moss, Benjamin Bratt, Terrance Stamp, and Tom Sizemore
Written by: Chuck Pffarer (Virus and Barbwire) and Jonathan Lemkin (Lethal Weapon 4 and The Devil's Advocate)
Directed by: Antony Hoffman

Joe's Preview Review

Why would anyone make this movie? What a dumb title. Why would someone see this movie?

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Copyrighted by Joe "Buscemifan" Soria 1998-2001.