Stephen Dunham .... Henderson
Brendan Fraser .... Rick O'Connell
John Hannah .... Jonathan
Jonathan Hyde .... The Egyptologist
Corey Johnson (I) .... Daniels
Kevin J. O'Connor .... Beni
Arnold Vosloo .... Imhotep, High priest of Osiris (The Mummy)
Tuc Watkins .... Burns
Rachel Weisz .... Evelyn Carnarvon

 

        George of the Jungle (Bredan Fraser) visits the desert to stop a monster from destroying the world in this so-called remake of The Mummy. Bredan Fraser is a himbo (a word for male bimbo from Seinfeld). In this movie, he is a himbo and plays hero at the same time. He is enrolled to help a rich librarian (Rachel Weisz) and her cheat brother (John Hannah) on a search to find a lost Egyptian city. In an amazing revelation, it is found out that this city is…CURSED.

        The film opens up by showing the history of the mummy. The mummy was a high priest who had an affair with one of the pharaoh’s women. He is mummified alive and given the worst curse possible (which somehow includes that if he is resurrected he is almighty). Cut to 1920’s, Rick O’ Connell ( Bredan Fraser) fighting a battle in this city. He is some sort of solider, one-man army. I’m not sure why but does plot matter anyway. They fight this battle, then something is reaching out of the ground and everyone runs away. The important part here is that we meet the defenders of the city and the movies weasel character. The defenders are descendants of the pharaoh’s bodyguards. We also meet Beni, the funny weasel who constantly appears throughout the movie.

        Flash to 3 years later. Here we meet Evelyn (Rachel Weisz). She works at a library in Egypt and wants to be an archaeologist. She knows all about ancient Egyptian History and she’s an expert in hieroglyphics. Her bother is another weasel. He’s a pickpocket and an archaeologist. He comes to her with a gift, which is an artifact which contains a map to the lost city. They want to know where the map came from so they must go to the source. The source is none other than Rick, there’s a coincidence. Rick is in jail. He is saved by Evelyn so he can lead them to the city.

        It wouldn’t be a good movie if they were all alone. They have competitors who are led by none other than Beni, another coincidence. They are on the same ship until they are attacked and the ship is burned. Then they go into the city and start digging. That night they are attacked by the defenders of the city and warned that they must leave. They dig around and release the mummy. In comes the big action and tons of special effects.

        From this review you might think from my very sarcastic tone throughout this review that I hated this movie. Not true! I hated the plot. The plot/premise was very basic. It expounds none on the original but in fact almost taking a step down form the original. The direction was that of a bad horror flick. The director (Stephen Sommers) has experience with that having been involved in the colossal bomb Deep Rising (one of the worst movies ever in my opinion). In this movie it works but it didn’t in Deep Rising.

        Many movies try looking great with a small budget. This was the case with Wing Commander; a terrible, terrible movie. This movie does the opposite. The movie has the feel of a cheap Ed Wood script like Plan 9 from Outer Space but has effects too. When the effects weren’t on full blast (to your eyes and ears), the movie looked like pretty cardboard cutouts. The town scenery just look so fake. It has kind of a charm to it’s fakeness. It is just so funny. Bredan Farser is suppose to be like Indiana Jones but he's just so dumb. The characters poke fun at themselves pretty much. This movie was just a fun movie.

        All the mummy stuff was pretty cool. You can actually see through the mummy’s body. The problem with the mummy is he is not really scary without his powers he just looks like an old man who has rotted to his bones. The movie was pushed as a horror film but it does not fit there. It does have some real screams in it but that wasn’t how the product came out. The movie turned out to be a shoot’ em up movie with tons of historical mistakes (I swore I saw a 90’s handgun in there somewhere). I also enjoyed the parts showing the plagues of egypt coming back even though no all of them were represented. I saw blood, ocust, boils and darkness; although darkness came before boils in this movie. By the way, the boils turn the people into Zombies. Please don’t ask me how.

        This movie is what many people call a movie that should be shown at midnight like Rocky Horror Picture Show or the previously mentioned Plan 9. The Mummy is more cartoonish then anything with little sexual innuendoes, and slapstick humor. At one point they are flying on a plane fit for two so the two other men hang on the wings. They get trapped in by a sandstorm and crash yet the only one that dies is the old daredevil pilot. The rest get out with a barely a scratch. That really happens.

        You must go into this movie thinking this movie is just so stupid, let me get a laugh out of it. DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY AT ALL. Like I believe the spells in a gold book counteract the spells of a black book. What do you think I am, stupid! The mummy smiles a lot as he kills. Most of the characters were weasels and deserved to die. The warden of the jail is a weasel. Beni is a weasel and so is Evelyn’s brother. They are all also idiots. One fat, two of Arabian decent and one of English decent. There are actually more weasels if u count the rest of the people they were racing. There had to have been at least 3 more weasels when you count them. I wonder what Bredan Fraser will do when his himbo roles dry up. He’ll probably go model. But then again these roles keep coming and coming so who knows if it will ever end. I loved him in The Scout. I give this movie 3 out of 4 stars.

Rated R for violence and partial nudity.
Running Time: 91 minutes
Reviewed: May 7,1999 by Buscemifan

The Mummy
A Pretty cool soundtrack. Here are some samples.

 

 

 

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